What do you hope to gain over these days of Lent?

Lent is about ...

Transformation

through prayer and fasting and giving.

It's intentionally cleansing our lives

• of that which distracts, 

• of those lesser things we chase to slake our thirst

• of the false gods we worship, intentionally or unintentionally.  

Lent is about ...

Preparation

of your heart, your mind, your soul to celebrate the greatest day in all of history.  The day that Jesus rose from the dead.  The day he claimed resurrection for our souls.  

It's not only about giving up time for more prayer, sweets for food that really matters, resources to help the poor.

It's also about gain.  Gaining more of Jesus

• More of His passion

• More of His humility

• More of His heart

Lent is about 

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfector of our faith, the One who endured the cross scorning its shame, the One is right now seated at the right hand of the Father.
Hebrews 12:2

I'd like to invite you to join me as I intentionally fix my eyes on Jesus over these days of Lent.  My Bible reading plan is below.  Jesus takes center stage every single day.  Giving up is too small.  I want gain.  Join me?

Lenten Bible Reading Plan

Date	Story	Text
February 22 - Ash Wed.	Jesus in the Temple	Luke 2:40-52
February 23	John Prepares the Way	Matthew 3:1-12; Mark 1:3-8; Luke 3:1-20; John 1:15-28
February 24	John Baptizes Jesus	Matthew 3:13-17; Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22; John 1:29-34
February 25	Jesus is Tempted	Matthew 4:1-11; Mark 1:12-13; Luke 4:1-14
February 26 - Sunday	Jesus Calls Five Disciples	John 1:35-51
February 27	Jesus at Cana	John 2:1-11
February 28	Jesus Keeps the Passover	John 2:13-25
February 29	Nicodemus Comes to Jesus	John 3:1-21
March 1	Jesus and the Samaritan Woman	John 4:1-43
March 2	Jesus Heals the Nobleman’s Son	John 4:45-54
March 3	Jesus is Rejected in Nazareth	Luke 4:16-32
March 4 - Sunday	Jesus Calls the Fisherman	Matthew 4:18-22; Mark 1:16-38
March 5	Jesus Calls Matthew	Matthew 9:9-13; Mark 2:14-17; Luke 5:27-32
March 6	Jesus Heals the Man by the Pool	John 5:1-18
March 7	Jesus Prays and Chooses the Twelve	Matthew 10:1-4; Mark 3:13-19; Luke 6:12-16
March 8	Jesus Preaches on the Mountain	Matthew 5-7; Luke 6:17-49
March 9	Jesus Heals A Leper	Matthew 8:1-4; Mark 1:40-45; Luke 5:12-16
March 10	Jesus Heals the Centurion’s Servant	Matthew 8:5-13; Luke 7:1-10
March 11 - Sunday	Jesus Heals the Paralytic	Matthew 9:2-8; Mark 2:1-12; Luke 5:18-26
March 12	Jesus Brings a Young Man Back to Life	Luke 7:11-17
March 13	A Woman Anoints Jesus’ Feet	Luke 7:36-50
March 14	Jesus Calms the Storm	Matthew 8:23-27; Mark 4:35-41; Luke 8:22-25
March 15	Jesus Heals the Demon-Possessed Man	Matthew 8:28-34; Mark 5:1-20; Luke 8:26-30
March 16	Jesus Feeds 5000	Matthew 14:13-23; Mark 6:30-46; Luke 9:10-17; John 6:1-15
March 17	Jesus Walks on Water	Matthew 14:23-36; Mark 6:47-56; John 6:16-29
March 18 - Sunday	Jesus is Transfigured	Matthew 17:1-13; Mark 9:2-13; Luke 9:28-36
March 19	Jesus Heals a Boy With Seizures	Matthew 17:14-21; Mark 9:14-29; Luke 9:37-43
March 20	Jesus Heals Ten Lepers	Luke 17:11-19
March 21	Jesus Protects and Forgives the Woman Caught in Adultery	John 8:1-11
March 22	Jesus is the “I AM”	John 8:12-59
March 23	Jesus Welcomes Children	Matthew 19:13-15; Mark 10:13-16
March 24	Jesus Answers the Rich Young Ruler	Matthew 19:16-30; Mark 10:17-31
March 25 - Sunday	Jesus Sends out Seventy Disciples	Luke 10:1-24
March 26	Jesus Raises Lazarus	John 11:1-54
March 27	Jesus Heals  A Sick Man on the Sabbath	Luke 14:1-6
March 28	Jesus Warns Disciples	Matthew 20:17-28; Mark 10:32-45; Luke 18:31-34
March 29	Jesus Heals Bartimaeus	Matthew 20:29-34; mark 10:46-52; Luke 18:35-43
March 30	Jesus Changes Zaccheus’ Heart	Luke 19:1-10
March 31	Jesus is Anointed by Mary	Matthew 26:6-13; Mark 14:3-9; John 12:1-11
April 1 - Palm Sunday	Jesus Rides Into Jerusalem as King	Matthew 21:1-11; Mark 11:1-11; Luke 19:29-40; John 12:12-19
April 2	Jesus Teaches in the Temple	Matthew 21:12-27; Mark 11:12-33; Luke 19:41-20:17
April 3	Jesus’ Last Hours in the Temple	Mark 12:41-44; Luke 21:1-4; John 12:20-36
April 4	Jesus’ Last Passover Supper	Matthew 26:17-30; Mark 14:12-26; Luke 22:3-39; John 13
April 5 - Passover	Jesus is Arrested	Matthew 26:14-16, 36-75; Mark 14:10-11, 32-72; Luke 22:1-6, 39-71; John 18:1-27
April 6 - Good Friday	Jesus is Crucified	Matthew 27:1-54; Mark 15:1-39; luke 23:1-47; John 18:28-19:30
April 7	Jesus is Buried	Matthew 27:55-66; Mark 15:42-47; Luke 23:50-56; John 19:31-42
April 8 - Easter Sunday	Jesus is ALIVE!	Matthew 28:1-15; Mark 16:1-11; Luke 24:1-12; John 20:1-18

I'd love to hear how you and your family celebrate Lent.  What are you giving up?  What are you hoping to gain?  And, if you'd like me to send you this Lenten Bible Reading Plan, just email me at cynthiafin@gmail.com.

Why Should You Take the Time to Explore Your Personality?

A quick search on the internet reveals thousands of tests to help you determine your personality.   Are you a lion, an otter, a beaver, or a golden retriever?  Gary Smalley can help you out.  Is your temperament choleric, melancholy, sanquine, or phlegmatic?  Tim Lahaye can answer this question.     And, you can even discover how your blood type is reflected in your personality.

With my current favorite online quiz, you can discover which Downton Abbey personality you most resemble.

Other than getting a charge by being able to relate to one of the Crawley sisters, why should you take the time to explore your personality? Isn't it really self-serving to examine your own personality?

I don't think so.  You are a unique individual, a masterpiece, created in the image of God.  The Creator of the universe made you, knit you together, body, heart, mind, soul.  He instilled in you a personality that fits perfectly with His Kingdom purposes for you.

Knowing your personality will make you more effective for the Kingdom of God.

When you know your personality you will be able to:

1. Recognize your limits

Contrary to what you may have heard growing up, you can't be anything or do anything you want to be, but this is good.  Your limits will actually help you to find and fulfill God's purpose for your life.  

2. Rely on others

Knowing your personality, and its limits, help you to truly depend on others.  You see your weak spots and ask others to fill in your gaps.  You can stop being everything for everybody else.  

3. Relate with others

As you understand yourself better, you'll be able to understand others better as well.  You'll be able to appreciate the beautiful diversity of the people in your life and encourage them to be just the person that God made them to be.  

So, how do you get to know yourself better? How do you identify your personality?


Eric Rees, in his book S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose for Life has you consider your personality along two strands:

•  How you relate to others.   

Outgoing or Reserved?
Self-expressive or Self-controlled?
Cooperative or Competitive?

• How you respond to opportunities.

High Risk or Low Risk?
People or Projects?
Follow or Lead?
Team or Solo?
Routine or Variety?

While Rees questions are helpful and will give you a better understanding of yourself, I think that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator will provide you with the most comprehensive understanding of your personality.

The MBTI has helped me to understand why one Christmas party energizes me, but by January 1st, I desperately need some time by myself.  It's helped know that I need to rely on others to formulate concrete steps to advance vision.  It's helped me understand that the person who provides me with objective feedback isn't being insensitive to my feelings, she's simply using the strength of her personality to help me grow.  It's helped me understand why I'm comfortable moving into action, even without a clear action plan and why this frustrates some people.   Understanding my Myers-Briggs type has helped me in marriage, motherhood, ministry, and in the marketplace.  I think it can help you too.

Although the best way to take the MBTI is with a certified professional, you can also take it online.  The cost of taking the MBTI online is $59.99, but I think it's money well-spent.  Along with simply getting the results, you get a personal profile and interpretation of your results.  If you cannot bring yourself to pay $59.99, then Personality Pathways can get you started.

Why should you take time, energy, and perhaps money to explore your personality?  One reason: knowing your personality will make you more effective for the Kingdom of God enabling you to recognize your limits, rely on others, and relate better with others.



What do you think?  How does knowing your personality  help you to serve God more effectively?  BTW, I'm a pretty solid ENFP with some "I" leanings.  What about you?

This post is part of a Virtual Book Club in which we read and discuss the book S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose in Life, by Eric Rees. In addition to my own study and experience, much of the material and many of the insights originate in this book.  I invite you to join me and my friends over the next few months as we work together to find and fulfill our unique purpose for life.  It proves to be an exciting journey!

How "The 5 Love Languages" Helped Us Celebrate Valentine's Day

Yesterday morning several of the kids had dentist appointments which meant I got to have a fabulous conversation with our dentist's wife who runs the front office.  Kelly is just a step ahead of me in life with most of her children beyond high school.  I love hearing about her family, her marriage, what she's reading, etc.  So, I asked her, "Will you do anything special for Valentine's?

Kelly shared that for every Valentine's Day of their entire marriage, her husband, David, has fixed the exact same dinner - lobster tails and steak.  Every year!

While I LOVE this, keeping the same menu for every Valentine's Day is not our style.  I mix it up, depending on what's going on in our life.  Anticipating Valentine's Day, the kids reminded me that last year I truly was the Grinch Who Stole Valentine's Day.

With Bill out of work, the kids spread between six different schools, and me running an afterschool program every afternoon, apparently I didn't have the motivation to cut out Valentines, make cookies, prepare a gourmet dinner, light candles, or anything.  So, I didn't.

This year, however, was a bit different.  With Bill in a job that is a great fit, the kids mostly home schooling, and me working part-time from my kitchen table, the idea of planning a Valentine's Date didn't overwhelm me.

As I thought about what I could do that would be fun, romantic, and not break the bank, Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages came to mind.

Bill and I read this book years ago, and it profoundly impacted us.  We've applied the principles to our marriage, to our parenting, and to other relationships in our life.

Bill's top love languages are Physical Touch and Words of Affirmation.  Mine are Acts of Service and Quality Time.  Receiving Gifts is pretty low on both of our lists.  Clearly, we could easily miss each other.  Here's what "missing it" looks like for us:

Conversation #1: 

Bill:  Honey, you are the most amazing wife.  I am totally blown away that God gave you to me.  You are beautiful, kind, passionate, smart, and an incredible mother.  Can we go to the bedroom? 

Cindy:  Well ... tell me about your day and I'll tell you about mine.  I'll bring some clothes to fold while we talk, and you can help out.      

 

Conversation #2: 

Cindy:  Honey, I haven't been able to get anything done around here today.  With appointments, lessons, and meetings, the house is a disaster.   I'm exhausted and I have a headache.

Bill:  That's okay.  No big deal.  Just leave it for tomorrow.  I'll get you a couple of   Advil and let's go to the bedroom.   

Conversation #3: 

Bill:  Honey, how do you think I'm doing as a husband and a father? 

Cindy:  You're doing fine, but when can I get some real time with you?  

Conversation #4: 

Cindy:  Honey, if you really want get up close and personal, then cleaning up the kitchen is the absolute best foreplay ever. 

Bill:  Foreplay?  I'll get right on it.  

Can you relate?  

So, for Valentine's Day, I thought I'd really try to love my husband across all five love languages.  Here's what I did:

1. Words of Affirmation

This one is probably my weakest, but I bought a card, which I NEVER do, and wrote a short specific note including the word "respect" and indicating that I was thinking about him in more than just a friendly way.  On my way to the dentist appointment, I dropped the card with a small bag of truffles on the front porch of the church for him to find when he arrived at work.  

2. Acts of Service

He values an orderly environment whereas I can live with a bit of chaos.  Too often, our bedroom is the last area of the house to get my attention.  So, I corralled the dirty clothes, vacuumed the floor, and straightened our bathroom.

3. Quality Time

I knew we'd have dinner together, but I also arranged a tour of a Boylan Bridge Brewpub complete with tastings.  He likes specialty beers.  While I'd rather have a glass of crisp chardonnay or smooth merlot, I enjoyed the tour, learning the science of beer-making, creating a memory, and just being with Bill.  After our tour, we had a lovely leisurely dinner at Battistella's  and talked and talked and talked.  

4. Receiving Gifts

Although gift-giving is not huge for either of us and I did give him the tour,  I also bought him a book that matches with his interest in U.S. history.  The book itself certainly isn't romantic, but valuing something that is interesting to him is.  

5. Physical Touch

I won't go into any detail at all on this one.  Let's just say that we had a delightful evening of hand-holding.  

Intentionally thinking about these five love languages helps me to better love my husband.   I might not be able to hit all five every day, but I can regularly focus on the two that really make him feel loved.  And then when he's pulling me close and telling me how wonderful I am, rather than handing him a broom, I can receive the love he's offering, and say, "The kitchen can wait."  

Oh, and just in case you think I've forgotten the kids in this love fest, Friday nights are Family Nights around here.  This Friday night will be our Family Night Valentine's Celebration with cut-out hearts, chocolate, something yummy for dinner and a fabulous dessert.


How was your Valentine's Day?  Were you the Grinch Who Stole Valentine's Day?  Or did you knock his socks off?  Or, was it somewhere in between for you?  What do you think about Five Love Languages?  I'd love to hear from you!

See Your Natural Abilities Transformed To Spiritual Gifts

Without a doubt, the world lost a woman with an amazing natural ability this weekend.

Whitney Houston had beauty.  But she wasn't just a beautiful woman.  Whitney Houston had a voice like none other.  I cannot even begin to tell you how many Seafarer songs and skits had Whitney singing back-up to suntanned and pony-tailed counselors.   I Wanna Sail with Somebody must have been on "repeat" for three summers running.

I'm missing Whitney.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding her death, there is no doubt about this one.  Whitney Houston loved singing, and she did it exceptionally well.  Whitney Houston had a natural ability.  And so do you.  Probably many of them.

Identifying your natural abilities can help you find your sweet spot.  And when these natural abilities are offered up to God, other people will be blessed, and God will be glorified.

Natural abilities sound an awful lot like spiritual gifts, right?

Well, yes, but not necessarily.  Everyone has natural abilities.  Every single human being has natural abilities.  But it takes a relationship with Jesus Christ to get spiritual gifts. As John Piper says,

Many unbelievers have great abilities in teaching and in administration, for example.  And these abilities are God-given, whether the people recognize this or not.  But these would not be called "spiritual gifts" of teaching or administration because they are not expressions of faith and they are not aiming to strengthen faith.  Our faith in the promises of God is the channel through which the Spirit flows on his way to strengthening the faith of others (Galatians 3:5).  Therefore, no matter what abilities we have, if we are not relying on God and not aiming to help others rely on him, then our ability is not a "spiritual gift."  It is not "spiritual" because the Holy Spirit is not flowing through it from faith to faith.  

Conversely, I believe, our natural abilities become spiritual gifts when the Holy Spirit is flowing through them.

The person who is a good leader meets the Lord and their leadership becomes Spirit-empowered, God-glorifying, and body-edifying as they surrender their natural ability to God.  Their natural ability to lead becomes a spiritual gift of leadership.

I don't know about you, but I want to see ALL of my natural abilities become spiritual gifts.  I want to offer up every talent, every skill, every ability I have as an expression of faith aimed at strengthening faith.

So, how can you and I see our natural abilities become spiritual gifts?  

1.  Identify your natural abilities.

Now please don't make this more complicated than it needs to be.  Just answer this question.  What do you love doing?   

What are the things that when you do them people say, "Wow!  That was great!"  Is it baking? Throwing a party? Decorating? Acting? Writing? Singing?  Dancing? Leading a meeting? Scrapbooking? Organizing? Listening to a friend? Meeting new people?  Playing an instrument?  Solving calculus problems?  Managing finances? Teaching a child to read?   

What do you love doing?    

Some of you are saying, "Really?  But that's nothing."   

It's nothing to you, but it's not nothing to other people.  It's not even that it's so easy for you.  You may have to work hard at it.  And I would say you should work hard at it, and you should try to get better at it.  But at the end of the day, you love doing it and you're good at it.   

And when you do it, like Eric Liddell, you feel God's pleasure.   

Right now I want you to write down at least five things that you love doing.  Nothing, and I mean nothing is too insignificant.  And, if you're bold enough, I want you to type those five things in the comment box.  If you're not quite that bold, email me, cynthiafin@gmail.com, and tell me what they are.   

So, that's the first step to seeing all of your natural abilities become spiritual gifts.  Identify them.

2.  Offer your abilities to God.

It's as simple as praying something like this: 

God, I love dancing.  And you made me a good dancer.  I want to dance for you.  I want to dance in a way that brings you glory and others joy.  I want my dancing to build up the body of Christ.  Lord, from this moment forward my dancing belongs to you.  In Jesus' name, Amen.  

Now, write down your prayer.  Offer your abilities to God.  And if you're bold, add your prayer to that comment or that email you're sending to me.  I would SO love to be praying for you in this.  

Offer your abilities to God. And keep offering them.

3.  Look for opportunities to us your abilities.

Open your eyes.  Watch for opportunities in the spheres of your life to use your abilities, which are now really spiritual gifts, for purposes which will glorify God and build up the body.  Get in the habit of praying before you teach, or bake, or decorate, and expect the Spirit to flow through you.  You will have so much fun!

And keep my email handy because I want to hear from you when you see your natural abilities transformed to spiritual gifts.    

I don't know where Whitney stood with Jesus.  I do hope she's with him now, freed of addictions, blinders fully removed, wounds healed.  And, if she is, I'm guessing she's right at his feet, hair spilled out, perfume filling the air, singing this song.

This post is part of a Virtual Book Club in which we read and discuss the book S.H.A.P.E.: Finding and Fulfilling Your Unique Purpose in Life, by Eric Rees. In addition to my own study and experience, much of the material and many of the insights originate in this book.  I invite you to join me and my friends over the next few months as we work together to find and fulfill our unique purpose for life.  It proves to be an exciting journey!

A Settled Heart in the Midst of Transitions

I first met Elizabeth at a marketplace prayer conference in Richmond, VA.  The sister of one of the young men in our church and a friend to many of the gals I discipled, I was struck by her graciousness, her hunger for God, and her desire to be used by Him.  I was thrilled when Elizabeth agreed to be interviewed.  She's been through quite a bit of transition in the fast few years, transitions that are completely normal for many 20-somethings - graduating from college, moving, marriage.  And although transitions are part of the package of moving into adulthood, they are challenging.  If you're dealing with transition in your own life, I think you'll find this interview with Elizabeth to be particularly valuable.  

Elizabeth, you've moved a lot, but recently have settled in Charlottesville, VA.  What brings you to Charlottesville?

In our three years of marriage, we have bounced around to four homes and three cities.  For the next two years, we've settled into Charlottesville while my husband gets his MBA at Darden.  Two years in one place feels like a small eternity to us, and we're grateful for the chance to actually settle down somewhere for a bit.  As a UVA grad, I was elated at the chance to come back to Charlottesville and it's been a treat to connect with old and new friends.  We have no idea where we'll be after Darden, but for now, we're enjoying each minute that we're planted in Charlottesville.  

With marriage and moving, you have faced plenty of transition over the past few years.  What  are several challenges you've faced in the transitions?  

Ahhh...yes, there have been quite a few transitions over the past few years.  The biggest challenge I faced was longing to have a settled heart amidst so many unsettling and unknown circumstances.  I like to be in control and it's been hard feeling like there is so much out of my control.  Yet through all of the transitions, the biggest thing that I have learned is that even though our circumstances may be in flux, there is One who is steady and constant.  One who takes us by the hand, and says, "do not fear, I will help you."  

Along the same lines, I have wrestled with embracing my current season/city/home/lack of window treatments, and longing for what's to come rather than what is.  Over the past few years, God has taught me so much about dwelling where He has planted me and embracing my current situation, rather than eagerly looking forward to what might be next.  One verse that has been a lifeline for me recently is Psalm 37:3 from the NKJV: 

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; DWELL in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.”
I just love the image of dwelling in the land and feeding on the faithfulness of God.  And I've seen that as I've worked towards dwelling where God has planted me, God has been incredibly and abundantly faithful.  

Elizabeth, clearly God has used your circumstances to teach you to be settled in Him,  and He's comforted you and given you guidance through His Word.  Practically speaking, during the times of transition, what did it look like for you to have time in your Bible and for prayer?  

Well, practically speaking, sometimes, it meant that I lay in my bed with my Bible opened and lying across my face.  I'll be honest, there were a few times when things just weren't working out the way we had planned, and I was so desperate to know what God's next steps for us were, that I would fall asleep with the Bible on my face, somehow hoping that it would help give me some kind of osmosis and help to open my eyes to see God's path for us.  I was desperate. 

Most days, I was so hungry for answers and direction that praying and reading my Bible came much more easily to me than it does when I feel like my life is just coasting along.  I was in the Bible and praying throughout the day because I was hungry, desperate, and just longing to hear what and where God was calling us to.   

Practically, for me, it meant lots of journaling, being still and listening, and reading through the Psalms.   

Transitions are a scary place to be, so it also meant a lot of talking to God about my fears, anxiety, and worry over the future and the unknowns and then pausing and listening to God reassure me over and over again that He was there, I had nothing to fear, and He would help me.  

I love the image of you falling asleep with the Bible resting across your face hoping for supernatural osmosis.  Seriously, it sounds like you knew just where you needed to be as you sought God's direction.  Elizabeth, it's been great hearing from you.  Is there one thing that you'd like to leave with women today to encourage them in their own transitions?

Thanks so much for this opportunity, Cindy!  The one thing I'd like to encourage other women in the midst of their own transitions is this: change and the unknown is pretty much a guarantee in life.  Even when we think we have everything totally figured out, our plans can change in an instant.  But when it turns out things aren't going they way we planned them, we need to remember that God. Is. Faithful.  He is constant in the midst of each and every transition, and while the path may be unknown to us, God knows our way, and when we trust Him, we can be confident that His way is ALWAYS the best way!   

Elizabeth is a twenty-something girl who loves God, bargain shopping, power walking, popcorn, chick flicks, reality TV, and pretty much all things fancy.  In her professional life, she works for an innovative early education initiative that seeks to raise awareness on the importance of the early years and ensure all children arrive at kindergarten ready to learn.  In her spare time, you can find her blogging at Long To Love, or coordinating logistics for Changing Seasons, a group that seeks to provide women with a sense of purpose and belonging, and equipping them to live lives marked by love and joy and grace.